122. The Depth And The Foundation Of Children’s Up-bringing

My beloved brethren, I, Christ, want to go back once again to the issue of children’s up-bringing since today it is not explained to you anywhere.

Different text books on children’s psychology, different books devoted to children’s up-bringing do not teach you the association with children as the principal subject which always has to be grounded on your conversations about the Father. In many ways you do not conform to truth while pursuing momentary results as to how to raise the child healthily, joyful, enjoying a good relationship with his parents and with the environment, but you absolutely do not raise him as a grown-up child of the Father. It is here that all the roots of your present pain and suffering lie. You want to raise your child only the way it seems to you that he might be a good child or a grown-up person. But how will you raise him such if you are not good yourselves and never show a live example which your child might follow. It is due to this problem that I would like to return once again to this key issue of humanity.  

Today the whole system of children’s development and education is far from being in conformity with the evolutionary plan of the spiritual development of an individual designed by the Father. Therefore, it is necessary that, what does not conform to it be put back onto a normal track.

When more than thirty-eight-thousand years ago Adam and Eve, a son and daughter of the Father, who were created by me and whom we call the Material Sons and Daughters, arrived on your planet, they were on the main mission – to create the violet race, and by this, to improve your biological development, to improve your biological resistance to diseases. And even your spiritual receptivity depended upon their mission. Unfortunately, they failed in their mission and you received almost none of their violet life plasm. Therefore, now it is so difficult for you to comprehend spiritual teachings which are sought only by a very small part of humanity. Due to this you do not know how to raise your children following a spiritual method rather than an intellectual one which at present is dominant. 

And still the Father’s plan is unstoppable for it is designed for the spiritual development of the whole of creation. And no creature is capable of stopping or ceasing it. Therefore, now you must also make a choice whether you desire that other generations of your brethren would also suffer the way you do, or on the contrary, you desire to reduce their suffering, and even to contribute to their physical and spiritual growth to a much higher one than your current level. Decisions and actions are yours while the fruits will be used by the future generations through wiser decisions and actions made by your children, grandchildren, and further generations, in all their walks of life.

Adam and Eve were transported in from the Satania system to which your world, named Urantia, also belongs, and their life plasm, implanted at a certain time into your ancient ancestors, today would already have also yielded to you very good fruits both genetic and spiritual. While now it is you who must be in Adam and Eve’s place and lay a better foundation even to a genetic legacy for generations to come by much higher spiritual development of your children.  

That is why you must at first perfect yourselves spiritually, by consciously choosing this path of being perfected, rather than by rushing around from one path to another and still being unable to understand where you are. And in order to grasp this you might use these teachings of mine.

However, these teachings are superficial and they are meant for your daily application. Much more thorough and profound teachings are presented in the Revelation which is called The Urantia Book, and in which you might read a consistent description of my life in the human flesh, which has been presented in this Revelation with my approval. From it you will also get to know about my efforts in raising my junior brothers and sisters after the tragic death of my father, Joseph, while I was only fourteen years old. It will help you get a better idea of both my adolescent years and my attitude to the then-system of education which did not allow girls to attend school so that I had no other choice but to take up the teacher’s role at home and teach my sisters the same subjects which I had at school. Now I would like to emphasize the up-bringing of children for you to understand that peace and concord within society depend upon the children.     

No child is born in any way different but as one to be formed by your environment. He is born as a blank sheet of paper on which you can draw a picture as a painter does one on the canvas, you can paint a picture which can either sooth and arouse admiration or cause pain and suffering. Every picture reflects the character and feelings of the painter. 

As the parents of the child you can raise him as an enlightened son or daughter of the Father, but you can also be disinterested in all these things and leave your child victim to the instincts of his animal self, and even strengthen them. Today you forgot your children and you see only dolls which you call your children. Whenever you want to play with a doll you approach your child but whenever you do not want it your child cannot call for your attention. But even the fact that your child does not receive your exclusive and full-of-love attention is also his up-bringing. He learns how he will have to associate with his children. It is only the Father’s spirit that is knocking on your soul and on the child’s soul – get closer to each other by a spiritual bond of the Father’s love, take a look at each other by the relationship of a permanent spiritual association with the child, full of love rather than by a look which would be just for brief moments and to satisfy your pleasure.        

No father or mother must ever toady to any whims of the child that ruin the character of the child’s personality from within. I taught my apostles that a wise father would never give his child a sea snake if it was caught in a fish net together with other fish even though the child might be pleading for it. Such a whim of the child might have a very high price to this very child. Will the child be satisfied if this whim was not met? Of course not. Realizing the consequences, will you not approve of this wise father’s decision either, even as the child? Of course you will approve of it. You see much further and clearer than the child, and realize that the child does not yet understand such a tragic outcome to himself.

Therefore, there is no opposition since the example of a possible dire outcome, should the father concede to the child’s whim, is so obvious.

However, do not you see these very same things within your own families? Why are you so unwise and so many of you hand in a sea snake to your child as soon as he desires it? Is it just because you are as little children yourselves and unable to comprehend these tragic consequences to your children once you rush to meet their whims no sooner than your little offspring desires something? Not at all, since you were told by your parents and you read that pampering one’s children always causes problems as the child grows, since, with years, his desires also multiply. And you experienced it yourselves many a time as a thought pierces your mind what you would have to do further on as the requests for presents are ever greater. And you give presents to them with all your might. You hand in a snake to your child. And then you get surprised that problems ever grow. There is no end to them, your relations do not get stronger in any way, there is no warmth and understanding. There is only a headache alone. Your children are not interested in anything, or they show their interest in that in which you would not desire them to be interested. And you permanently wonder as to what your child lacks, why this ingratitude, even though everything which is the best within the family is given to him?               

At first, you have to learn to discern fish from a water snake yourselves. It is only then that you will be certain that you are not giving it to your child. By using this metaphor I had no snake in mind literally but rather all good and evil which is present in one’s life. Any evil can turn in a very hazardous angle against each of you or against the whole of society if no efforts are made to convert it to goodness. And how to translate evil to goodness it is this teaching of mine that gives explanations to you.   

Now I can explain to you a lot and in detail how you must raise your children but my words will still remain to you just vain if you do not try to discover the Father within. And it is only after you discover the Father within yourselves that you will sense that only now you have comprehended in what way you must raise your children, associate with them, and grow together with them so that they would feel a living flow of the Father’s love pouring out from you. And they will immediately react to this living vibration of love. Now you are unable to permanently emit the vibrations of the Father’s love, for as soon as you step away from your child, these vibrations are immediately blocked within you since you take up other jobs without the Father’s love. Only while seeing your beloved offspring you can liberate these very vibrations of the Father’s love. And even in then, provided that there is no tension in your business, if you are not wearied out by other problems, if your mind is not preoccupied with any thoughts on a meeting with your friends, if you neither are preparing in your thoughts for any date with anyone nor hiding it. All the thoughts which are not tinged with the vibrations of the Father’s love immediately block these very vibrations. And you can check it yourselves when your association with your child is full of love and sincere and when it is only outward and fake as if you were carrying a heavy burden from which you would desire to get unburdened as soon as possible.           

And as this artificial association becomes ever more frequent, as the moments of it turn ever longer, your child stops feeling your love vibrations, which you emitted and he begins to demand your attention, he desires to associate with you, and at this moment you make the very first step to bribe him by giving him the first snake – some rattle toy so that the child would be busy and leave you alone, at least for a moment. That is your first mistake in associating with your child. Actually it is equal to your betrayal. It might be called a mistake just because nobody has taught you that this association must proceed without rattles but rather live. However, it is your first betrayal when your little one is asking for your love but you do not give it to him rather offering him its surrogate – artificial toys which are designed by businessmen; and as time runs on they become more sophisticated and obviously more expensive. And your betrayal is becoming ever greater for you also feel irritation because of the fact that very soon your child gets bored with the toy, and you must buy him a new one. And that is an expensive thing to satisfy the outer pleasure of the child.    

It is a live relationship, a live association that is necessary for the child, while you buy him with the dead toys that have no value for his growth. Wrong attitudes are pressed upon you by psychologists, nursery teachers, school teachers, industry, and commercials. All these things do not build up the child’s character.
On the contrary, they bring on a ceaseless growth of the whims of the child. And again you hold out a snake to the child because he particularly asks for it. And your live association with the child you limit to the very minimum. However, even this minimum is not a live association. If you talk with the child for a moment or two, you are in your thoughts already somewhere else, and you try to distance yourself from this association with your child as soon as possible. And again your child does not receive from you the vibrations of the Father’s love, he does not receive the Father’s living water for his soul. And how can he receive it if you do not have it yourself, if your own vessel is empty? Therefore, you are trying to pour out upon your child just your outer attention without your inner life.      

Can you do any job well if you do not focus all your attention on it? Of course, not. Each job is particularly meant for concentrating one’s entire attention on. And the one who breaks this principle very often encounters very painful consequences while even doing minor work. And if any tools, especially the sharp ones, or any machinery must be used for doing that work, you can also get injured, or you can injure others. 

The child’s up-bringing is still more dangerous. You can injure or completely kill the child’s soul. That is the greatest possible pain to the whole of creation when a soul has no possibilities to bloom out in order to rise in a free flight after its resurrection. 

Therefore, while raising your child you must always be very attentive. Never be such that your thoughts would wander somewhere else. While being with your child, always associate with him sincerely. You are painting a picture grounded in your sincere feelings. The painter will be judged by it. Others will judge you by your children. And if all the time while staying with your child, you associate with him sincerely, if you stay opened to him all the time, then this relationship transcends any rattles or any toys, though very expensive and nice, but dead. And this living relationship of yours cannot be replaced by any toys, even the most expensive.    

A live association is nothing but talking with the child. Talk with him all the time. Tell him about your feelings, describe to him the environment, tell him nice fairy tales, fancied by you, and sing him songs. And do everything very sincerely, all the time repeating ordinary correct words of your own language rather than imitating the sounds of the little one.

And then you will see how receptive are these little ones and how much they can perceive.

When you do not allow them to rise gradually, to your level, but rather by toadying to them, adapt yourselves to their level and start talking their own language, how then they can hear a standard language and learn it faster and better? A live association is also your playing together. You can invent plenty of games yourselves. You are a creator. You are really painting a picture. Let your fancy carry you away, let it manifest itself in your association with your child if there is no other room for it to manifest itself. At the same time you will develop the mind of your child as well; and beyond any dead toys. But the most important thing is that you must reveal to him the environment and the Source of this environment – the Father – everywhere. The child must experience from his very early days that in the whole of the environment there is a loving hand of the Father which is always helping and soothing, even better than that of yours. All this will set in deeply in the sub-consciousness of the little one. And it will enable him to know the Father much better as he grows up. This way you raise your child as a new son or daughter of the Father for the whole of creation as it was designed by the Father’s evolutionary plan for the development of mortals. And this way you will form the sprouts of love and goodness in his soul which can manifest by good thoughts and deeds much earlier. And it will also tremendously impact the child’s physical health. The child will grow much stronger and healthier than the other children of his age who are not raised in this way.  

It is the family that must play the main role for humanity to embark upon the path of its spiritual development. Therefore, no nursery schools can tackle this task. This task is meant exclusively for the family. Thus, nursery schools will gradually disappear for there will be no need for them.

Children will grow within families. All orphans will be adopted as well. Now my words do not sound convincing. However, it shall be so, exactly as I am saying. There shall be no more abandoned children. For this time to come sooner, much depends upon your personal decision, by each of you, to turn to the Father, discover Him within yourselves, and devote all you jobs only to Him, consecrate all your living only to Him, and lead a full-blooded and very active daily life just providing it with the motive of the Father’s love and service.