143. The Child And You

The baby needs love vibrations and not only material food. Therefore, feed him with them permanently. And associate, play, and talk with him like with one equal to you. I have already explained it to you earlier. Now I desire to explain to you about raising a bigger child, a child of the age when he starts feeling a greater influence from the environment rather than from the parents, as the authority of the parents begins to fade. To prevent this from happening you must not produce such a misleading impression on your child that you know everything so that it is only from you that the child can learn anything in which he is interested.

You must always keep a very sincere relationship with your child. Never lie to the child. Never be afraid to tell him that you do not know something. However, you must also reveal to him that the Father is the only omniscient one who particularly helps everybody learn more. Therefore, one human being knows more in one field, another one knows more in another field. In this way the Father desires that people, as His children, would share their knowledge with each other so that they would cooperate among themselves with love. And then explain to him that after he will find an answer to his question, which you are unable to provide him, that he would share his knowledge with you as well. This way you will show him your trust in him as well as that you value his knowledge and even desire to hear his explanation. He will also begin to feel his own value that you listen to him and that it is from him that you hear that which you have not known before. It will not be strange for him either that his parents might not know something as in the case when they always used to know everything and now they do not know it. It produces great disillusionment for a child. Therefore, this sort of explanation is both a sincere association with him and the expansion of his vantage-point, and a teaching as to how it is necessary to look for answers not only from the parents who are not omniscient but also from other sources, as well as to share this information with others who do not yet know it.

If you have a chance, try to find your answer to this question as well. And then get back to this issue again when you are with your child. If you have no chance of doing it then ask your child whether he has succeeded in finding a response. This relationship and your interest must be sincere. That is felt by the child from your vibrations.

He also feels when you are asking formally about anything which does not really interest you. It is the same as if your child would be talking with you while his thoughts would be wondering elsewhere and you would feel that he is merely talking to you so that you would leave him in peace as soon as possible and after that he would submerge himself into his own favorite field. Association must always be sincere.

If your association, from the very birth of the child, has been based on a love relationship, on vibrations of the Father’s love, in this way, your sincere bond with the child shall be natural and lasting. And you shall associate as equal partners rather than as the mother or the father and the child who must always obey your demands only because he is your child. Such an acquisitive approach to the child as to a thing, might destroy the child. For this does not provide him with the building up of his free will, independent decision making, and self-dependent acting. This sort of child raising, rather than educating him, is limited to meeting only his material interests, and the expression of his gratitude at the request of the parents for such a sentimental destruction of the child’s character. And as the child grows, his character begins to present new shades of its manifestation, and he will start to revolt against the curbing of his free will, since he will notice that other children of his age may express to their parents their own free will and enjoy it beyond the walls of their homes. Therefore, in such a family where the child was brought up without vibrations of the Father’s love, the child’s revolt is inevitable, unless his will is completely subdued by the will of the parents, and this would be an absolute violation of the Father’s free will, and sooner or later it would cause great problems to such parents within the family.

Therefore, never break the free will of your beloved child, but rather raise him as a son or daughter of the Father. Build up his unselfish, altruistic character while associating with him as with one who is equal to you, all the time allowing vibrations of the Father’s love and sincerity to manifest, rather than your own strivings and purposes. And it is this association that is the up-bringing of the child, and when the sort of up-bringing which wears you out remains no more. There remains only the sharing of your experience. However, sharing your experience not merely in words, which all the same, the child would not understand, but by your living which must be such as to submit yourselves to the leading of the Father from within, and the child would feel vibrations of the Father’s love which his parents live and breathe literally, and that subsequently, he also would even see in your acts, in your life. This sort of sharing of your experience is more effective for the child than dry words. The same applies if your words begin to differ from your living, and the child will notice it very soon if his character has not yet been so greatly deviated from the path of love and truth. And then the nice words of yours, which do not correspond to your real steps in life, very soon, will build up a cold and invisible wall between the child and you and which will not be overcome by any appeal to his conscience or morals.

Such a child might start revolting against the mode of your living while telling you nothing but performing such acts which will cause a shock even for you, who talks one way and acts the other way, because even your demeanor is not so base. However, such acts of his, causing you fear, will be nothing but the consequence of that which you claim to be a good up-bringing of the child. Therefore, you must realize that sharing your experience with your child also is your daily living. And it is simply impossible to hide this sort of living when it contradicts your words which you tell your child. You must not think that your child neither sees nor understands your life. He feels your vibrations, since he also has the spirit of the Father who leads him even as He leads you. And the spirit’s leading might be even stronger for him than for you if he is less resistant to this leading, if you have directed him up to then towards goodness, truth, and love even though by empty words, without supporting these very words with your practical steps in your living. And such a child feels much more than you do. Therefore, you will not understand yourselves, how come your child knows and feels that your life differs from the words you utter to him. However, this ambiguous situation will be a heavy burden for the child to find an exit out of this maze provided to him by his parents. Here, a lot will be determined by his environment beyond his family boundaries.

Therefore, do not risk the future, even the survival, of your children, and by your free will, choose the path of the Father’s love that has the only Truth – to raise your child as a son or daughter of the Father. It is only in this ambience that the child will be raised possessing his desire to search for even greater truth than he knows, to walk on still more resolutely than he has walked before, to be completely free from the dead rituals restraining his free will, to seek more steadfastly than to date, a deeper experience in the Father’s love, and to give it back to the Father and to the whole of creation more sincerely through the worship of the Father and service to the brethren.